Hello and welcome back to the blog my loves!
If you're reading this post, you're PROBABLY a young traditional woman! Welcome my dear. I am so happy to have your interest and a few moments of your precious week.
Now I know there's a lot of information for young career-inspired women, and women who want to be boss-babes, independent, and whatever. But I believe that we also need to care for our darling traditional women!
That's where I come in. I, like you, am a young traditional woman. I got married at 22, and have been loving my quiet, home-based life ever since. Between all the cooking, sweet mornings with my husband, evenings running a vacuum, and afternoons spent blogging, I have to say... I'm pretty happy.
I’m not the end-all guru, but I definitely have some advice to share with you that I would have LOVED when younger.
Lets dive in!
1. Take care of your skin and **WEAR SUNSCREEN**
My precious babies: this is SO important. You are young, and this is the best time to form habits and prevent damage before it occurs. Remember that you need to nurture your beauty, and skin is probably the most important part of your outer beauty. Skin reveals health, youth, vitality, and of course... BEAUTY! My biggest piece of advice is to prevent sun damage BEFORE it begins.
I read a really great book by a dermatologist once. In once chapter, she referenced a consultation with a mother and daughter duo, aged 50 and 75 respectively. The dermatologist revealed that it appeared that their ages were actually REVERSED due to the excessive sun damage to the 50 year old woman's skin.
In contrast, the mother had spent her entire life avoiding the sun and enjoying the shade; her face was free of sun damage, and her skin was absolutely healthy and vibrant looking. Take this as a tale of true beauty tips my friends! Avoid the sun and wear sunscreen.
2. Live into your UNIQUE beauty
It's true: we don't all look like Emily Ratajowski or Naomi Campbell, BUT, as women we all have a level of unique and special beauty to us. We all have a "best" feature, trait, or element to our beauty. It's important to not wear clothing and makeup that compliments another girl: figure out what works best for YOU, and start this while you’re young.
Focus on YOUR body and play up YOUR looks. By doing this, you will begin to get comfortable in your own skin, and become prepared for a lifetime of living into your uniqueness. This is where your confidence will begin to sprout. Seriously girls; your "best" feature could be as minor as your nails... but whatever it is, LIVE INTO IT.
I would also say that the women who are THE most clever are the ones who understand and accept that they don’t have to be perfect looking, they just have to have a few stand-out features. Being known for a single aspect, like your shiny hair, or long legs, or even your curvy figure, is enough to help you stand out and shine!
3. Be mindful of your sex life
Now I'm not in charge of you, and I know we don't all come from the same religion or background, but I just need to say that saving sex until marriage was one of THE BEST decisions I ever made. I'm not saying you have to do it, but I AM saying that I'm happy I did it.
For my Christian girls, I would recommend abstaining from sex until marriage, as the Bible specifically warns about sex outside of a marriage covenant. However, if you are not a Christian, and not bound to the commands in Scripture, you can seriously do what you want in this area, just know that it is still beneficial to be very cautious and mindful in this area of your life.
Remember, sex is for reproduction, pleasure, AND pair bonding. Be careful about who you bond with and remember that sex is incredibly emotional for women.
Also, don't worry about being a virgin in the dating realm as well: many men still value virginity very highly. And if you have already had sex but wish to return to celibacy before marriage, DO IT! Don't treat yourself negatively based on whether you have or have not had sex: that doesn't define you. Be careful in this area, but don't beat yourself up!
4. Stop following Instagram models
While it is often inspiring and exciting to have role models to look up to, it's important to be mindful about WHO those "role models" are. We should be very choosy about who we allow to influence us. Try to choose positive people who inspire you and actually have a good impact on your life.
For that reason, I have to say that following Instagram models makes me feel really gross and negative, so I don't do it. Of course, you're free to follow whomever you want, but pay attention to how you feel when you view those photos. Pay attention to your heart, and how it is forming your view of yourself.
Remember, those girls are showcasing a FANTASY of their lives and themselves. It's not real life, and the things that ARE "real," aren't real for the majority of the population. It's okay to dream a bit, but be mindful of your perception of "normal." Find some real role models and don't forget the IRL role models!
5. Be honest about what your dreams ACTUALLY are
We can often flounder in life, unsure of what we want and where want to go. Some lives and careers can look cool and glamorous, but we need to recognize that careers come with just as much frustrations and downsides as being at home.
Everyone pushes young women to be intense and to “reach for the stars” but sometimes, it’s okay to admit that our biggest dream is to be married, or to have a simple part-time job, or to stay near family.
I’m so excited to be a mother and continue building into our little family! I couldn’t think of anything more exciting and peaceful. Don’t feel small just because you don’t dream of fame, career success, and fortune. A life filled with vacuuming, apple pies, muddy German shepherds, and squirming children is seriously good enough for me.
6. Avoid the party scene like the plague
This is really important! Now obviously you should live YOUR life the way you want, but I really need you to know that the party scene isn't consequence-free. With every fun night, there also comes a lot of problematic things (and people) as well.
The party scene can often leave women feeling uncentered, unhappy, and worn out. Not everyone is cut out for the drag and push of partying on the weekends, overusing alcohol, indulging in drugs, and seeking out mindless pleasure. Many women get sucked into and spit out of these rushed and harried lifestyles, and I know that for women who desire a quieter life, it might be too much.
Be aware as well that you will not meet the same caliber of traditional men at parties that you could be meeting in other settings. Focus on building into positive social interactions and hobbies that will leave you feeling fulfilled.
7. Get cleaning!
Get used to taking care of your space. Whether you have roommates, you're in a dorm-room, or you live with your parents, make sure you take care of your space and figure out how to manage a comfortable environment. ALSO, it's very attractive to men when they see a woman who can keep a clean and tidy space.
When you have your own home or become a homemaker, it's going to be very important for you to maintain a clean space. If you're busy with a job or school, I know that cleaning is often at the bottom of the list behind homework, a social life, and Instagram, but try to make a change here. Put cleaning higher up on the priority list: combine it with some Netflix, YouTube, or podcast viewing. Remember that cleaning will make you more productive, and truly elevate you into a more mature state of being.
8. Learn to cook
You don't need to be Rae Dunn or Julia Child: just get ahold of a few basic skills. Learn how to cook a few different breakfasts and lunches, and at least 5 different dinners. This is another very attractive quality to traditional men!
And yes, I know not every woman wants that kitchen life, but for those of us who DO want to be a traditional homemaker, it's important to recognize that you can't get by without some skills in the kitchen! Learn some really delicious foods, and try to get skilled at baking as well. Nothing will make a man more impressed than dropping off a plate full of cookies! Enjoy the process and fully dive into the ancient feminine practice!
9. Plan your life with a family in mind
This one goes along with my earlier advice. More women than I can count have messaged me saying that one of their biggest regrets in life is not planning life with a family in mind. Taking their twenties to party, pursue a career, and dating with no results, these women have found themselves childless, in a mundane career, with no husband or happiness to show for it.
So yes: plan your life with a family in mind. We cannot guarantee a husband, but we CAN be open to dating traditional men of good character. We can’t guarantee being a homemaker, but we CAN work on our femininity and be very open with our husbands about our desires to be at home.
When you DO decide on a career, keep in mind how many children you want and what age you want to begin trying. This is why I studied communications in college: I chose a degree that would compliment a freelance or part-time career path. Family was my number one priority, so I chose something that would work with that goal. If I hadn’t done college, I would have gone for hairdressing or real estate so I could still have a flexible routine when I had kids.
10. Don't Believe everything your university, teachers, or friends tell you
This one is really important: there is a lot of misinformation floating around about the wage gap, sexism, and workplace inequalities. Take time to focus on actual STATISTICS, not emotional ramblings or blog posts. I wouldn't even tell you to believe everything I say!
Take everything you hear and learn, and weigh it against your personal experience, and the experience of others. Weigh it against our history as humans, and against your religion. Remember that there is so much more to life than women's empowerment: there are more people living on this PLANET than Gen-Z Western women.
Take in a variety of perspectives and don’t forget to be logical and reasonable instead of emotional. A lot of ideologies rely on a heightened state of emotion from the audience. Don’t feed into that dynamic. Stay reasonable and steady in your logic, and listen to gurus and creators who are plugged into real issues in a LOGICAL way.
That about wraps it up! I think I need to do more of these, but for right now, I hope you feel motivated and excited.
I know a lot of women have lost hope for being a homemaker or housewife, but I know that if you stick to tradition, showcase your nurturing femininity, and sweet character, your future will find you.
Thanks for reading!
Xoxo,
Cait