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  • Writer's pictureCait

Stop Asking "How Does This Make Me Feel?"

Updated: Apr 14, 2019

This blog post is for all my "Feelers" out there: the ladies like me who are HUGELY sensitive, with strong emotions and passions. We feel deeply about almost everything in life: from our relationships to everyday tasks.

This emotional way of approaching life can be extremely positive! I know that I was designed by God to be in tune with the needs and feelings of my spouse, my community, my friends, and my future children. Emotional awareness is an amazing gift, but definitely not a fool-proof way of approaching everything we do in life.

Unfortunately, emotions can negatively control us when we approach EVERY situation or decision with the question, "How does this make me feel?"

First, I want to say that this approach can SAVE you from a lot of pain. Asking "how does this make me feel?" can help us avoid toxic relationships, bad jobs, or anxiety inducing situations. BUT it can ALSO stop or prohibit you from doing important tasks, just because they don't always "feel" good.

Let's dig into this.


A lot of us can get worn out from doing chores, cooking, our jobs, commutes, and day-to-day tasks simply because those activities can feel monotonous, un-meaningful, and boring. The drudgery of cooking, cleaning the dishes, grocery shopping, then cooking again CAN get pretty old. I'm not going to lie!

But you know what?

Part of being an adult is doing things that aren't fun and embracing our obligations! We NEED to embrace our responsibilities and focus on the fact that life doesn't always revolve around how we "feel" in the moment.

Take my life for example: how I felt used to ALWAYS run all my choices. Even this past week, I had been avoiding laundry because I was feeling so frustrated and telling myself that there were things to do around the house that were more "fun" and "life-giving:" basically things that made me "feel" good.

I was allowing my feelings to control our household and stop me from keeping things in order! Finally when I applied logic, I realized that I am an adult and laundry simply must be done!

Putting off obligations and tasks because we don't "feel" like it, or because the task doesn't make us feel fulfilled can be a dangerous trap.


I am a firm believer in removing the emotion from everyday tasks.

Remove the emotion and replace it with reason! Instead of asking, "how does this thing make me feel?" ask "how will accomplishing this task benefit my life, my family, or my community?"

Doing the laundry benefits my family! Working out benefits my body! Going to work benefits our country and your family! There are endless logical ways to think about boring tasks in your life.

Since 2018, I have taken this approach to EVERYTHING in my life that I was having a difficult time doing: dieting, working out, taking my makeup off every night, walking the dog, etc.

Since then, I have lost weight, gotten healthier, improved my skin, and maintained a cleaner home, all through removing emotion from the tasks and applying logic. My feelings don't dictate my actions anymore: logic and reason do! And it's SO liberating.

Now I'm not saying remove emotion from EVERYTHING, but I am saying that removing it can SOMETIMES be the key to accomplishing things that you wouldn't otherwise "feel" like doing.

Try this approach in life and see how it works out! Think reasonably and logically about why you should go to the dentist, do your homework, listen to your parents, or be nice to your neighbors. It may alter your life.

Finally, I would recommend that we all focus on being lead by the Holy Spirit and avoid being controlled by our emotions. Thank the Lord for logic and reason, because if I always let my emotions control me, my house would still be crawling with unfolded t-shirts and unwashed dishes!



1 Comment

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Enchanted Breath
Enchanted Breath
Sep 20, 2019

This was really helpful and encouraging. "how will accomplishing this task benefit my life, my family, or my community?" LOVE this, thank you.

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