Hello, my friends!
Today I wanted to have fun and create a homemaking archetypes blog post.
This was inspired by the realization that the homemaker-to-homesteader pipeline is STRONG. And while some of us may truly desire that journey, I've noticed that a growing population of homemakers are feeling unduly pressured to pursue homesteading, even if it doesn't fit our lifestyle, interests, or family system.
It's natural... we begin following other homemakers for recipes and lifestyle tips, and before we know it, we might own a chicken or begin a kitchen windowsill garden. It's nice and lovely, but then we notice the pressure continues to grow: it's not good enough! We need a goat! Or a cow! I should be growing all my own food and birthing all my babies at home!
This journey is natural for some of us, but quite stressful for others. I myself do not resonate with homesteading, though at one point, especially after becoming popular on YouTube, I felt like I had to fit that mold in order to be truly traditional-- like I was a fraud if I didn't start a backyard garden or breastfeed my babies until they were two. It took me over a whole year to even reveal that I was a formula mum and that I had assistance in birth-- that's how ashamed I felt for not fitting that propaganda purist version of a homemaker. How silly!
Now as I grow as a mother and a homemaker, I have renewed confidence in who I truly am. I've tuned out the online pressure to be an ideal homemaker, and I've distanced myself from the traditional living conversation. Because truthfully, a lot of that doesn't resonate with me. I like to stay home while my husband works and I like to eat whole foods and live peacefully and quietly, but that's about as "traditional" as I am these days. I've had a C-Section, I don't have chickens in my backyard, and I like to regularly shop online. I'm just not crunchy and that's okay.
I've noticed that it seems like a purity culture is forming around homemaking-- as if the purest form of being a "traditional homemaker" is to do it elbows-deep in the soil with a baby strapped to your back. And it's not the homesteading homemakers themselves who are forcing us all into their lifestyle: not at all. But there is a growing trend of homemakers feeling inadequate in comparison to such hard-working natural living women, and today, I just wanted to highlight the other ways we can go about homemaking.
Homemaking is not a one size fits all career.
We are all going to do it differently because we live in different locations, are married to different types of men, and have different incomes. We have different hobbies, talents, interests, and passions, and I truly believe that we do not all need to be rushing to the real estate agent to buy acreage and put up a farm just to ensure we're truly doing a good job at homemaking.
Of course, I will always admire homesteading homemakers, and yes, I often feel like they do much more than I do in a day. But that doesn't mean that the end goal of being a homemaker is to be a homesteader. You can enjoy a suburban or even urban lifestyle and still be a fantastic homemaker. You can have the opposite of a green thumb and still be a fantastic homemaker. You can have only one child and be a wonderful homemaker, and yes, you can use FORMULA (oh the horror) and be a GREAT homemaker. And I don't just say that because I did it. I'm saying it because it's TRUE.
So. Passions aside, today I've created a list of homemaker archetypes and am even going to give you accounts I like to follow for different inspo. It's important for us to keep a well-rounded view of homemaking if we are to avoid the stress and pressure of feeling like we need to all be crunchy homesteaders. I personally appreciate following a wide variety of homemakers so that I don't feel pigeonholed or stressed about a certain way to live.
I want you to feel validated and interested in your own style, and maybe you'll see yourself somewhere on this list.
Enjoy!
Homesteading Hanna
Now just because I don't think we all need to homestead doesn't mean I don't think we shouldn't take massive inspiration from these women. A lot of my very good online and IRL friends are Homesteading Hannas!
So who is she? Well, Ms. Hanna will be up to her ears in sunflowers and chicken eggs, and is probably simultaneously trying to convince her husband to buy her a cow for her birthday. She knows all the sourdough recipes, can grow a basket of onions just by accident, and can woo all her neighbors with a hearty handshake and bouquet of personally grown flowers. She's hard-working, assertive, and longs to be elbows-deep in the garden instead of cooped up inside or trapped in a shopping center. We all admire her, wish to be like her, and yes, I think we should all befriend at least ONE homesteading Hanna as we learn how to be better homemakers.
Butterfly Brianna
Brianna is the queen of the social function: a total hostess through and through. Her kids are in extracurriculars and she is probably planning her sister's gender reveal party as we speak. She might be a little glam and a little extroverted, which only lends to her penchant for volunteering, hosting, and being the busiest bee in the town. These types of homemakers are the backbone of volunteering, church events, and getting things DONE!
Party favors are her second language, and she is absolutely the person to call when we need more moms for the field trip or to plan our daughter's prom. She makes you feel at home, and her home is usually ready to host a book club or the next holiday party when she's not visiting Disneyworld or out at a fundraiser! It's important to follow Butterfly Brianna because she'll give you amazing tips for decorating, how to host, and in general, remind you to get out of the house and get busy!
Polished Priyanka
Priyanka is so put together from head to toe that some people probably viciously envy her. Her home is organized, her kids are clean and smiling, and she is probably some sort of lovely type-A personality who stays fit and organized just by being herself. It's always good to follow a Priyanka online because she reminds you to meal plan, reorganize your silverware drawer, and pressure wash the corners of your shower. She's an expert at the family budget and has a lot to teach us about keeping things in order.
Don't be surprised if you see Priyanka at step class or Soul Cycle... just take it as inspiration to get your exercise in for the day! I admire these types of homemakers and truly aspire to be as put together and organized as they are. I find it helpful to follow them for tips on organization in the home, your life, and to create a healthy lifestyle.
Soft Life Salma
Salma is a quiet soul who takes joy in being at home. She stops to smell the roses, enjoys frugal living, and chooses a slow and soft approach to life by admiring the beauty of things. She's a warm presence for her children and eager to explore all that life has to offer. She probably does attachment parenting and you can feel the warmth of her heart through her videos online.
When it comes to homemaking, she has a serene presence that values connection over consumption and stays organized and clean without overly stressing about these things. Salma is a great homemaker to put on your roster because she'll remind you to take it slow and to value the immaterial over the surface-level things.
- Rune
- Eslimah
Jetset Jasmine
Jasmine is off on adventures, probably with her traveling businessman husband. She vacations... shops... eats out... and it's gorgeous. I follow a lot of "Jasmines" on Instagram because I find it so exciting to see the luxurious lifestyle played out in real time. Jasmines tend to be extremely supportive of their successful husbands while also offering etiquette, fashion, and travel inspiration.
I think the traditional community has a lot of judgment saved up for Jetset Jasmine, but I think it's probably just a lot of jealousy. We shouldn't hate Jasmine for not having to take care of a farm or clean her house: homemaking is not a one size fits all and we all have different struggles. It's not easy to support a busy successful man, nor is it easy to live abroad. These types of homemakers are just as valuable and I find their content to be quite inspiring, getting me to think outside my box and consider different perspectives.
Kitchen Kumiko
Kumiko is the queen of the kitchen. She's cooking and baking and has got her family eating GOOD. Kumikos are important to follow as a homemaker because you'll gain recipes, new ideas for the kitchen, and feel more inspired when it comes to keeping your family nourished. Things might be a little haphazard at times, but she's always creating new things and getting into hobbies at home.
She's probably also a wiz when it comes to cleaning and is generally very in charge of her chores and general daily routine. The steady focus of Kumiko tends to be the flow of her household routines, as well as drawing people together by creating a nice atmosphere at home. I find these types of homemakers very grounding to follow because I can be a little flighty about cooking and cleaning, and am always eager for more inspiration.
- Roha
- Jayden
Traditional Talia
A mix of all of the above, Talia will be focused on building a life for her family and supporting her husband. She'll jet-set if she needs to or organize the house if it's time to get things together. Family and routine are extremely important, and she is generally well-rounded and eager to always be learning new things. She might have a small garden or batch of chickens, but she's not a rough-and-tumble homesteader.
Talias are great to follow because you get a good mix of cleaning, style, food, and family inspiration. I think most of us probably fall into the Traditional Talia category, and it's nice to know that you can be a traditional stay-at-home wife without owning a cow. Nothing against owning cows, but we don't have to feel pressured to do things that don't match our interests, needs, or family lifestyle just to conform to some abstract concept of what being a homemaker means.
Alright, that is all I have for you today my darlings! I hope you feel inspired to remember that just being yourself and pursuing your natural interests as a homemaker is ENOUGH. No need to stress to be something you're not, whether that is a Jasmine or a Hanna. We've all got something great going on, just the way God made us.
xoxo,
Cait