What Even IS Homemaking??
Updated: Apr 14, 2019
Homemakers and aspirational homemakers, thank you for reading!
I was laying awake last night thinking "what even IS homemaking? What am I trying to share with my readers?" I kept turning out ideas but getting stuck on the fact that I believe that homemaking is more than just apple pies and vacuuming. That thought lead me to another, and I came up with the following framework that I am SO excited about!
There are THREE parts to homemaking: practical, relational, and personal. Each element is integral to the art of homemaking.
1. Practical Homemaking:
Ah yes, practical homemaking: this is what one often imagines when they think of homemaking! The vacuuming, the cooking, the coddling of babies. Yes, this is indeed the first part of homemaking.
Practical homemaking is all about keeping your home "running smoothly." At the peak of our chaos at home, I found myself running through the house, late for an event, searching for my car keys while tumble weeds of dog hair rustled through the desert that was our underutilized dining room. I would wake up wondering when the water bill was last paid and where that God-forsaken pair of high heeled booties ran off to! It was chaos!
A lack of organization and cleanliness can lead to home-destroying outcomes and behaviors. A sink piled high with dishes and the constant question "do you know where my ..... is?" can be a nightmare. Practical homemaking removes this chaos and inserts order. Check out my homemaking hacks to help you remove chaos!
*** DISCLAIMER: *** There is no way in all that is good and lovely that I would have an orderly home if my mom didn't raise me with museum-level standards of order and healthy delicious food on the table daily. If you are having trouble with this, think about a close friend or family member who seems to have an orderly home: grab a coffee and pick their brain!
2. Relational Homemaking:
Next we have one of the most important parts of homemaking: your relationship with your partner. Growing up, the tense relationship my parents displayed often felt more home-destroying than home-making. Even WITH all the delightful cleanliness of the home, without a consistent loving relationship between my parents, it was often hard to feel truly at ease.
Since starting our own family, I've made it my goal to be in "building" mode with my husband. Building Mode is all about having an attitude to fix things and work out problems every single time. Just yesterday we had a miscommunication that left me feeling upset. But instead of being passive aggressive, I told my husband what hurt me, we talked things out, and reconnected physically. This is what building mode is: a willingness to fix and connect.
Home-destroying behaviors within relationships are often obvious, like alcoholism, infidelity, a lack of compassion, or a dead bedroom. But they can also be less than obvious, with things like subtle sarcasm, passive aggression, shirking date-night or forgetting about daily hugs and kisses.
3. Personal Homemaking:
Personal homemaking is about meeting your OWN needs. This can be physically, mentally, or spiritually. How is the home within your heart? How is your body doing?
Self-Care is a wildly trending concept in 2018, and I think it's for great reasons! Taking care of yourself helps you approach the rest of your responsibilities with peace and courage. Making your own needs a priority may mean sacrifice: money for counseling, extra time to work out, or time and money for a style and beauty routine upgrade.
A HUGE part of personal homemaking for me is my faith in Jesus Christ and my relationship to him. Knowing everyday that I am forgiven and loved helps me interact and love others with an overflowing cup. Maybe you're not a believer, but you can still find ways to dive into developing and nurturing your inner beauty which will reflect in the beauty of your home. And PLEASE ladies, never underestimate something as simple as a wardrobe upgrade or workout routine: it can really help your personal care. Read my blog here to see how a beauty upgrade changed MY life.
I'm going to end in saying this: some parts of homemaking come more naturally to us than others, but all are essential in creating a peaceful and joyful atmosphere at home.
We will be diving more into each section with practical tips and theoretical discussions in the future, but for now, I'm just happy to have a framework:
1. Practical Homemaking
2. Relational Homemaking
3. Personal Homemaking