Cultivating Femininity: Relationships
Good Morning Readers!
The blog is growing and I am thrilled to have you all here! The fact that so many of you have taken time to write me long encouraging messages has completely caught me off guard. I had no idea that so many people would resonate with my message, and I am filled with full motivation and excitement to continue on!
As I'm growing, I even took time this morning to record some content for the new Mrs. Midwest Youtube Channel! I have had so many requests to translate these blogs into videos so you guys can listen to them while doing other things. This is a fabulous idea, and I want to give a huge thank you for everyone who wrote to me asking for that! i sometimes need a push before I do new things, so you guys have been really helpful.
If my blog has inspired you lately, I encourage you to share it with your traditional loving friends, digital or otherwise. Let's build our community and change Western society together!
Now onto today's topic: Cultivating Femininity in Relationships.
How can we cultivate femininity in our relationships? What does it mean to be feminine in a relationship, and how can we continue to grow as feminine women in our relationships?
As we discuss, please remember that femininity is about tending, nurturing, caring for, and beautifying the things in your life. Through this lens, we can begin to see our feminine "role" in relationships is nurture, build others up, and provide a space for creativity, joy, and love to flow.
In romantic relationships, the role of femininity is very obviously to be a complimentary part to masculinity. But how can we be feminine in ALL our relationships?
Let's dive into this.
Femininity with Friends & Family
Cultivating femininity in our close relationships should be about caring, nurturing, and beautifying the relationship.
We can do this by being honest, trustworthy, good listeners, nurturing, positive, and responsible. Femininity is not weak, and therefore should never be a part of "weak" social interactions like gossip, rumors, slander, or lying.
Seek to build your close relationships on foundations of trust, honesty, and loyalty. Avoid fake friendships and do not lie to your parents. To be feminine and beautify a relationship does not mean covering up problems or avoiding conflict: quite the opposite is true in fact.
To cultivate and beautify our relationships, we must be willing to be honest and approach conflict with reasonable attitudes. Do not shirk off your needs or believe you need to please everyone to be feminine. Your needs matter, and if you are in relationship with someone who mistreats you, it is not your job to cater to them or allow them to hurt you.
Likewise, femininity demands that we must be honest with those around us. Avoid friendships with people who refuse to listen to the truth, or who put you down. As I've said just now, avoid gossip and negative aspects of communication and relationships. Spreading rumors is NOT feminine, nurturing or caring to our community.
Nurture people. Make sure your actions, words, and advice is used in a way that can encourage others and build them up. Take time to remember facts about the people in your life, and actively make sure you ask them about their lives and actually wait to LISTEN to the response. Make sure your words, attitudes, and postures all result in a safe place for your friends to be themselves, discuss things with you and even feel comfortable bringing up conflict.
Being feminine doesn't mean being passive: don't stand for relationships where someone is willfully hurting you, and continues to do so even after you have pointed it out to them. I have exited important relationships in my life due to unfair and abusive treatment that the other person refused to acknowledge or change.
There is a false belief that to be feminine you must please everyone and put up with all sorts of burdens from other people. It is next to impossible to thrive in an environment where you are being abused, treated cruelly, or hurt. Exit those relationships and find peace.
Likewise, do not BE an abuser in relationships! Do not intentionally hurt, name call, or take advantage of those around you. Do not refuse to apologize and do not expect to always get your way!
I have seen a person in my life constantly exasperate the people closest to her through her sarcastic, rude, and hurtful comments. She is constantly pushing people away and making it impossible for those around her to show her affection.
Do not be this person.
If you have been hurt in the past (I have too,) take time to heal and learn to trust others again. Don't blame everyone else for your problems and certainly don't enact cruel words or hurtful attitudes onto others. We all need to be loved and to be in community: don't push away these opportunities.
If you apply these pieces of advice, you will see your feminine nature shine in your relationships, and discover how beautiful and nurturing the feminine spirit truly is.
Femininity in Romantic Relationships
How can we be feminine in romantic relationships? Well, as I've mentioned before, it is very obvious that femininity is the complimentary component to masculinity. It creates a powerful dynamic and energy when femininity and masculinity work in tandem to create a life together, raise children, and make decisions.
I would encourage you to start viewing your partner as an ASSET. Enjoy the ways they differ from you and seek out ways that you can become even more complimentary to them. My husband is VERY masculine, so it leaves me with a lot of space to be very feminine.
Biblically speaking, the Bible is very clear about complimentarianism. Feminine was created to help masculine. We are called as women to RESPECT our husbands, and they are called to LOVE us. This dynamic brings structure, harmony, and beauty to our lives through the balance of masculine and feminine.
Practically speaking, here are some ways that I show respect to my husband:
I never put him down in public
I ask for his advice
I do not interrupt when he is speaking
I ask for his input on purchases for the home
I praise him in front of other people
I do not disagree with him in public
I listen to him and his arguments for things
I encourage him daily
I touch him affectionately
I go to him before I go to other people for advice, help, or encouragement
I highly recommend you begin adopting some of the practices that I do. You will see your spouse or boyfriend begin to shine under your respect, affection, and encouragement. I truly believe that a man can accomplish much more in his life, career, and faith if he has an encouraging helpmate at his side.
If you are desiring a more egalitarian marriage, I would say that it might be a little more difficult to cultivate femininity without a true distinction between leader and helper. Although feminine and masculine are equal, they have different roles. Without these roles, the lines between leader and helper begin to get blurred, as do feminine and masculine traits.
To cultivate your own femininity, allow your partner to cultivate their masculinity.
Allow him to lead you, protect you, and provide for you. You may be surprised at home much satisfaction and joy he gets out of embracing his inner man.
For me, I use my relationship to grow into my femininity and allow my husband to prosper in his masculinity, and I have to say... we are more in love than ever. Encourage him to spend time with other men, get involved with his hobbies, work out, and take opportunities to progress in his career. Encourage him without fail.
If this is not appealing to you, you can at the very least take time to nurture your spouse's love language. Take time to actively serve, touch, encourage, give, and bless your spouse. I actively focus on nurturing my husband's love language of "Words of Encouragement."
I would also say that it is important to focus on being a good listener within your relationship. Don't just talk the ears off your partner: listen to them too and ask them questions about their day. To be feminine is to be receptive and nurturing, which means listening.
If you are dating a narcissistic person who won't let you get an word in edgewise, you may not want to choose them to be your life partner. But for most normal relationships, a good measure of listening and gentleness goes a long feminine way.
Finally, in all your relationships, romantic or otherwise, learn to apply the virtue of gentleness.
I have spoken on this before, but gentleness is a way for you to present your needs, concerns, conflicts, or troubles to your partner, and have them truly hear and understand you without a barrier of offense. If you approach with gentleness, you will turn away wrath (as the Bible points out) but you will also offer a safe place for others to come to you with concerns.
Likewise, in non-romantic relationships, an attitude of gentleness gives space for others to feel loved, heard, and safe to bring up problems.
I hope some of this advice is helpful and will allow you to begin cultivating femininity in all your relationships! I hope that you learn to respect, listen to, and nurture those around you as you move forward in your journey of cultivating femininity.