Hello my Dear!
Welcome back to the blog and a big warm hello from ME! It has been awhile, but I promise you... I've had good reason for taking this break...
We are expecting!
Yes!
I am pregnant! We are 14 weeks along, due late January, 2021, and I could NOT be more thrilled.
I know that many of you have been wondering where I've been, and I need to open by saying THANK YOU for all of your prayers, concerned comments, and sweet emails. It means the world to me that I was actually missed while I was gone! I truly appreciate you all being patient with me and allowing me the freedom to take this much needed break.
It's not a secret that my content is "controversial" in our modern landscape. I don't discuss this often, but it IS stressful being a trail blazer for such taboo topics. I can usually handle the harassment, criticism, and general debates surrounding my work, but getting pregnant during a pandemic AND during the riots and increasing danger at my husband's job, the weight of blogging and making videos felt too heavy.
I realized one day that I simply had no more bandwidth left to create content, field criticism, and participate in the online world all while feeling like I was going to throw up any second. I couldn't be everything to everyone and that was OKAY. I just had to focus on being a wife and on growing our baby.
Last Fall we discovered that I had an ANA (antinuclear antibody) in my blood, which indicates a possible autoimmune disorder or disease. I have no other symptoms of an autoimmune disease yet, but because of this fact, my pregnancy IS at a higher risk for preeclampsia.
This being the case, it was a non-negotiable that when I became pregnant it would be necessary to eliminate as much stress from my life as possible to give our baby a healthy environment to develop, but also to give my body the best chance at a safe and healthy pregnancy.
As this is my first pregnancy ever, I also had no idea if it would even last! I grew up around a lot of women who openly discussed miscarriage, and have personally known many women who have undergone loss even in this past year. That reality is never far from my mind, and I am pleased that women are openly sharing their hearts on such a sensitive topic.
Life is so precious and it is also VERY DIFFICULT to get pregnant and to KEEP a pregnancy. I know so many women who are trying everything they can to be in my shoes with a growing belly, and I did not want to take it for granted. Every week I add onto the calendar feels like a victory! Every day I get to take another prenatal pill, I thank the Lord.
Choosing to take a break from influencing was one of the best things I've done in a long time. It has allowed me to enjoy the beauty of traditional homemaking again without any side hustles or work to worry about. I discuss the topic of family-focused traditional living all the time, but I hope you know that I also try to live it out in my life! I wouldn't want to be sitting around telling you all how wonderful it is to practice homemaking if I didn't live out those things for myself.
And that's what these weeks have been for me: a time to live out everything I've always told all of you.
This break was a reset for me. I feel like I've been able to reestablish my boundaries as a blogger and a homemaker, and forge a new path towards becoming a mother.
My blog and channel began and will always be a HOBBY. A beautiful addition and wonderful part of my life as a homemaker, wife, and (future) mother, but never the center of my life. I've stated this in the past and truly meant it, but in the past I also had MUCH more energy and time for this lovely hobby than I currently do. But that is okay. :)
To be honest, I did consider not returning to Instagram, YouTube, or the blog, but after spending an afternoon reading your encouraging emails and comments, I knew I couldn't leave yet. You all mean so much to me, and there is still A LOT to discuss around these topics! We've barely scratched the surface and I still feel like I have purpose in this space.
So, before we go, I just wanted to put some major bullet points up here to help you know how I plan on navigating this huge change in my life:
My priorities have shifted, and now my online life is even lower on my typical list behind God, my Husband, and now the baby!
I don't plan on disappearing again but I will not be back in as intense a capacity as I once was so that I can continue to keep my stress (and blood pressure) LOW!
I don't plan on turning my blog or platform into a mommy blog or motherhood platform and will still be covering topics related to general womanhood, homemaking, femininity, and traditionalism.
However, I do want to share bits and pieces of my pregnancy to the extent I feel comfortable.
Finally, I plan on taking a less rigid approach to my channel and blog, opening up opportunities to share more daily life and personal life content.
But that's it! I hope you can understand this shift in my life and keep us in your prayers as our lives begin to change! I appreciate all of you, especially your wonderful messages and emails and am truly sorry if I caused you any undue concern: we are doing great! :)
Sending you all my love!
Cait