When I moved to Whitehall, I moved away from my friends in Grand Rapids, and even further from my dear friends in Canada. I was beginning a new chapter and had room for new friends! I really tried not to rush into friendships out of mere necessity, but rather focus on relationships that could really bring out my best self! Keep reading for my friendship guide!
Who you have around you really shapes your life, your day-to-day, and your happiness. Here's my top tips for gaining and maintaining amazing friends:
1. Choose friends who ALSO need a friend.
I like to seek out girls who ALSO need a friend. These ladies are amazing because they're not busy with their own group on a Saturday morning: they have space in their heart for a new friend. I don't like to force people into a friendship with me, so if you have room in your life, I love being friends!
2. Get to know your friends as much as they will let you!
The top way I try to be a good friend is to stay updated on all the good, bad, and ugly of my friend's lives. Every girl needs a friend to listen to them, care for them, and love them unconditionally. Also, when you really care about your friends, they can grow to really care about you and what you have going on in your life.
3. Do fun things together, but also make time for heart-to-heart talks.
I love having a good balance of fun outings for drinks, a movie, or whatever, but I also try to add in some coffee dates, long walks, and wine nights at home. This is when the real conversations can really happen! Just recently my friend and I went out for a bite to eat and then watched a movie! Basically, date your friends.. LOL
4. Don't spend your time gossiping with your friends.
What a waste of time! Thankfully this isn't much of an issue for me because most of my friends don't know each other. I have found too tightly knit girl groups can breed a bit of gossip, but when you have individual friendships, you can really focus on having fun, learning about one another, and growing in the sisterhood.
5. Choose friends who leave you feeling better, not worse about yourself.
It took me a LONNNNG time to realize this little tidbit of truth. You know that feeling you have when you leave a coffee date or a party, and you just feel TERRIBLE? Your inner spirit feels disgusting and you just feel blah. Now, there's lots of reasons this could happen, but I have found that sometimes it's a sign that those friends are just plain blech. No need to invest in friends who make you feel bad about yourself!
CONCLUSION
So there you have it! These aren't an absolute cure-all, but they're definitely things that help me navigate the tricky world of friendships. Don't be discouraged if you can't find a good friend right now. Just try to radiate your joy and you will find them before you realize it!